The Adventures of Long John Silver: Dragon Slayer

Long John mopes at the Bull and Blunderbuss.

Plot synopsis: Long John and Purity have a fight and he moves out of the Cask & Anchor and refuses to allow his crew to patronize it. When Captain Redbeard shows up, he gets between them.

Thoughts:

One would think that Long John and Purity would have had a

million fights by now considering the way each tries to

manipulate the other, and the impetus for their big break being Long John calling her "stupid" lacks credibility. One would think he would have called her far worse by now.

A lot of the story turns on Redbeard's machinations and

attempts to turn the rift between Purity and Long John to his advantage. The fact that Purity buys into his sweet talk isn't

too shocking considering how often she succumbs to Long John's blarney, though you'd think she'd have spent enough years around pirates that she'd know better.

The fact that Redbeard can't be trusted is something the audience is only too well aware of because he gives

conspiratorial looks to one of his lackeys. I have to give Redbeard credit for actually acting like one would expect a

pirate to act, but he's a little too laugh-happy. He broadly laughs at his own words far too often.

Redbeard (and his cohort with the accordion) hold Purity hostage.

Favorite moments:

The tavern that Long John goes to after a falling out with the Purity that has him moving out of the Cask & Anchor is called "The Bull and Blunderbuss." "Blunderbuss" is a great word.

Redbeard wears more eyeliner than most heavily-painted prostitutes.

Jim is more emotionally mature than either of his guardians, though slightly naive about attacking two full-grown pirates when they grab Purity.

Favorite quotes:

Ironhand to barmaid: "Long John aughtn't have called Miss Purity "stupid"."

Barmaid: "Up until then it was any other row between them, a pleasure to listen to."

Purity to Ironhand: "At long last, I have a tavern that caters to the respectable trade."

Ironhand: "So respectable, they all stays at home."

Redbeard to Long John: "From all I hear, you're in need of a shipment. A shipment that knows the way to the weaker sex."

Purity to Long John: "You tin horn dragon slayer."

Stray notions:

One of Long John's more dim-witted crew member sings like a bird at the prospect of a pork pie baked by Purity.

Long John gets angry when Ironhand reports that Purity

instructed Redbeard to use Long John's booth. I guess that might be some sort of weird middle-aged territorial mating issue.

Sailors always know how to play hand accordions.

Redbeard and Long John rendezvous at "Dead Man's Bay." That's a nice piratey name.

Mold to Gold Rating:

Any story line which involves Purity having a hissy fit is like a minefield. The story has to tread lightly around the more irritating aspects of her character in particular, and to not (further) emasculate Long John. The main problem with this story is that it turns more on Redbeard's devious nature and

not on Long John's. It's hard to believe that either Long John or Miss Purity would trust him. I give this props for being a good pirate adventure tale, but it lacked charm and made the two main characters look pretty gullible.